Shinji and Asuka's Relationship

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Despite not joining the cast until Episode 08, Asuka quickly becomes a pivotal figure in the narrative, both in her own right and in her interactions with Shinji. The complex dynamics of their relationship quickly become very prominent in the show.

This article does not exist to support the idea of pairing Asuka and Shinji together as a couple("LAS", "AsuShin") or proselytizing for treating them as an official couple. Such discussions are a matter of personal preference and have no place in this wiki.

That being said, Neon Genesis Evangelion is a show that thrives on ambiguity, and in examining the relationship between Asuka and Shinji - whether visually or through dialog and interpreting any unspoken feelings between the two depends as much on the viewer's perspective as anything else.

The Hedgehog's Dilemma

This section argues that the narrative consistently uses Asuka and Shinji's interactions to expose its themes, as the clashing of two characters that are superficially the opposite but in fact foils to one another, two sides of the same coin that allow the show to explore questions of individuality, intimacy, relationships, self-defense mechanisms, insecurity and many of the themes encompassed in the central metaphor of the show, the Hedgehog's Dilemma.

Subversion/Deconstruction of Romantic Comedy tropes

Although treating Asuka and Shinji's relationship as romantic is questionable, several of their interactions are indeed framed following the conventions of romantic comedy. For instance, they have an eventful first meeting, complete with instant dislike and mutual misunderstandings. Circumstances push them into continued proximity, with hinted sexual tension and slowly building mutual acceptance, as Asuka and Shinji both begin to impact one another's development as a character and as a person. Friends seem to see a relationship of which the characters themselves are blind, either teasing or offering advice, however their mutual insecurities keep them from attaining something deeper - or realizing that there is no point to having a relationship. Given Evangelion's brutal subversion and deconstruction of various tropes, it is worth noting that following that every convention set up is open to brutal subversion.

For example, this interaction in Episode 17 follows a romantic comedy convention:

A married couple....and just as equally not.
The pause in the second image before they deny their relationship and the blush suggests that Toji's observation has embarrassed them. In a traditional romantic comedy, this would be treated as proof that they are indeed meant to be together. However, this scene equally sets up the brutal downhill spiral and physical violence in Episodes 21 to 24 and End of Evangelion. They may be quarreling like a married couple, but that may very well be the extent of it.

Parallels with Misato and Kaji

Shinji and Asuka are often deliberately juxtaposed with Misato and Kaji, via clever use of cuts during important moments. Whether this is meant to establish a parallel between the Shinji/Asuka relationship and that of Misato and Kaji remains a matter of interpretation - it could just as easily be a method of showing the contrast between their relationships. In episode 11 both pairs end up in compromising positions. Shinji and Asuka kiss in Episode 15 but fail to reach out to one another. At the very same time Misato and Kaji are able to enjoy brief intimacy with Misato revealing why she left Kaji in the first place, bringing both adults somewhat closer to one another.

Shinji/Asuka and Kaji/Misato
Comparison shots from Episodes 9, 11, and 15

Having lost their mothers at an early age and the subsequent neglect by their fathers, Asuka and Shinji experienced very similar trauma, although it is arguable that Asuka's discovery of Kyoko's "murder"-suicide was significantly more traumatic than a toddler Shinji witnessing Yui's disappearance into Eva-01. Whatever the case, both of them developed opposite defence mechanisms, as they are both too afraid of reaching out to others for fear of receiving the same abandonment they have in the past. Shinji runs away from people and isolates himself in order to avoid intimacy and the risk of rejection and to always stay in his comfort zone. Asuka tries to cultivate a false image of herself as being superior to others, which she uses to aggressively seek attention and acknowledgement from those whom she deems to be her equals or superiors (such as Kaji), while using her arrogance and abrasiveness to push away those whom she considers inferior to herself. Either way, both of them refuse to face the reality that both of them are lonely and seek human affection, Shinji through avoidance and Asuka through aggression.

Two sides of the same coin
Having faced similar trauma in their childhood, Shinji and Asuka develop opposite defense mechanisms.

Episode 08: Introductions

Asuka's initial reaction to Shinji is one of disappointment - she considers him "boring" and doesn't seem to consider him worth her time. She is visibly angry when Kaji mentions Shinji as the "famous pilot of Eva-01" in the presence of all the others in officer's mess, as if jealous that someone inferior to her should be treated so highly. However, when Kaji (whom Asuka looks up to) mentions Shinji's surprisingly high synchronization from the start, Asuka is visibly surprised. This revelation seems to have caused Asuka to accord Shinji grudging respect and seek affirmation from him. She is prompted to show off her superiority as a pilot: with words and showing off Eva-02 at first, and eventually by leaping into the battle against Gaghiel with Shinji in the cockpit. Asuka rushes into battle against the Angel without a plan and with her Eva unequipped to fight underwater, and when the fight predictably goes downhill she snaps at Shinji to provide a solution to their predicament. Significantly, both Asuka and Shinji work together and break their synch records with Eva-02 at the end of the battle.

Asuka's arrogant, aggressive, dominating and competitive personality - along with an incapacity to accept her mistakes and difficulty in simply asking Shinji for help in a difficult situation (snapping at him instead) - is depicted as clashing dramatically with Shinji's quiet, polite, generally passive personality. While this sets them up to be opposites in more ways than one, Asuka's behavior in this episode defines her manner of approaching Shinji throughout the rest of the series.

Asuka is Not Impressed
"Pleased to meet you...NOT"	You’re telling me that I lost to this puppy?	Asuka Shows off Eva-02.

Seeing Asuka in a positive light

Episode 10: If at first you don't succeed...

Asuka presses her two advantages.

Asuka takes charge.

Episode 15: Is it just a kiss?

The apogee.

Newtype Film Book Volume 5, dealing with Asuka and Shinji's kiss. This is from the Chinese release.
"It feels as if time has stopped."

Misunderstood Intentions
Shinji believes Asuka's lie that her kiss was just to relieve boredom, but once again in Ep. 22 we find it meant a lot more.

Episode 16: Asuka Surpassed

I see you......

Episode 18: Cluelessness

In this scene, Asuka's uneasiness and nervousness at Shinji being on her mind, and talking about him with Hikari, is made quite clear

Episode 22: A subconscious need

Asuka before confessing her feelings to Kaji.	Asuka sees Shinji speaking to Rei	Asuka realizes she is confiding in Shinji after her phonecall from her stepmother.

Temptation
Asuka pretends to be fine, leaving Shinji alone in the living room. In truth she had been feeling lonely and in need of company.

with the strong implication that Asuka was in need of Shinji's support and help due to feeling lonely and (potentially) anxious for the battle of the next day. Her inability to accept the idea of relying on others, which is at the foundation of Asuka's personality, was what pushed her to shut herself inside Misato's room instead of seeking Shinji's company. The reference to the "Walls of Jericho" (famously destroyed in the battle of Jericho), could be seen as a reference to Asuka needing someone to push through her barriers and truly understand her. 

Episode 22 Flash-Sign Montages

See this page: Theory and Analysis:Film Montage Theory in Evangelion for a complete interpretation of this following piece.

Asuka, during the Episode 22 mindrape, is forced to come to terms with the nature of her relationship with others and society, trying to reject others but eventually having to come to terms with her inability to remain alone.

Episode 23

Shinji, clearly frustrated by his surrogate family rapidly falling apart at the seams, but also feeling powerless to do anything about it, is seen standing outside the door to Asuka's room, noticing that she once again is spending the night at Hikari's house, and quietly wishes that she would come back. It obvious that his wish for Asuka's return at this point is more about having some sense of normalcy restored to the household than anything else.

Episode 24

Asuka and Shinji have what may be one of their last conversations in Misato's apartment. Shinji has just informed Asuka that Kaji is dead and will not be coming back (offscreen), and Asuka audibly slapping Shinji and angrily accusing him of lying makes it clear that their relationship is at its lowest, and they are now completely unable to talk normally to each other. Shinji's equally angry and frustrated reply makes it clear that he has tried to explain the truth to Asuka who is by now in obvious denial about that fact. Asuka repeats her insistence that Shinji is just lying, but her despondent facial expression betrays that she knows what he is saying is true (Denial is considered the first of the five stages of grief).

This revelation may be what finally pushes Asuka over the edge; as the narrative cuts to a week later, Asuka is seen after having been on the run from home for seven days and seen lying in a bathtub in the ruins of a house, obviously physically weakened and completely sapped of the will to live as Section 2 finally finds her.

Later in the episode, as Shinji contemplates his loneliness and isolation from his friends, he lists Asuka amongst the persons he misses and wish he could talk to.

Episode 26

The alternate universe shown in this episode makes use of traditional anime school setting tropes, with Asuka presented as Shinji's childhood friend, a setting later recycled in spin-offs such as Angelic Days and Shinji Ikari Raising Project. Rei even reacts vehemently to Asuka getting defensive over Shinji, which in the old ADV dub gave birth to the (in)famous "are you riding his baloney pony?" line, one of the results of ADV's creative liberties.

Someone ships them together

This scene features an easter egg: one of the desks features a drawing of an umbrella with Asuka and Shinji's names written on them. This "love umbrella" is an old reference to someone being paired up as a couple. It's similar to writing a heart shape with "Asuka+Ikari" inside it. Who wrote it isn't known, though it also has "anta baka" written underneath, and the umbrella is not only "divided", but it's scribbled all over. There's another "how lewd!" comment, also scribbled over.

End of Evangelion

Shinji and Asuka's interactions in End of Evangelion are very significant for their development at the end of the movie. For more details, see Theory and Analysis: Shinji and Asuka's interactions in End of Evangelion.

Notes

For more information, less accepted alternatives and objections, see Shinji and Asuka forum thread.

Some fans believe that the Asuka in Episode 26' is not real, and is instead a fake or a creation of Shinji's mind. However, there is plenty of evidence pointing out that it is indeed her soul inside Instrumentality, much like Misato and Shinji herself. See: Theory and Analysis:List of Common Misconceptions#The Asuka in the Hell Kitchen scene wasn't real

As an interesting aside, Sadamoto also suggested during the conceptualization of Eva that the relationship between Asuka and Shinji would be similar to the relationship between Jean, Nadia's love interest and eventual husband in the earlier Nadia.

In the expanded Director's Cut version of Episode 22, Anno also took inspiration from a 1996 doujin by author Nobi Nobita called Bridal Veil, which depicted an expanded mindrape scene itself. Curiously, while making his own scene, Anno made it clear that Asuka's feelings were directed at Shinji, having supplanted her crush for Kaji. It also adds more lines for Asuka bemoaning Shinji and makes this context even clearer by adding additional past scenes with Asuka and Shinji, like him rescuing her in Episode 10. This isn't made clear in the doujin, wherein it seems ambiguous if she's talking about Shinji or Kaji. This doujin has been translated on Evageeks and a full scanlation is also available on its thread.

In contrast to the simple "favourable feelings" Shinji has with most other characters, Evangelion Chronicle describes their relationship as "complex feelings" and "love and hate."

Hideaki Anno has also written a song that seems to be about their relationship. It was fully produced, but ultimately unused in End of Evangelion, in favor of Komm, süsser Tod. See: Everything You've Ever Dreamed