tr:MDWigs'in Derin Düşünceleri
MDWigs' Musings is the archival page for the website of the same name. All the original articles on the website are © MDWigs 2002 and as such are explicitly beyond the CC-BY-SA copyleft of the wiki. Furthermore, this is an archival piece, and the opinions expressed are the original author's views at the time the article was written, and not representative of the standpoint of the EvaGeeks Wiki. The only purpose for maintaining this page and its links are for archival purposes, since the original website is defunct, and this page may be taken down if the owner requests so.
MDWigs's Musings
With the western release of the Evangelion movies I thought it was about time that I gathered together in one place some of the writings I've done over the years about Evangelion. These writings are all taken from forums or newsgroup posts of mine, and if you are interested you can check out the original threads where I posted them (if the relevant forum still exists).
"Evangelion is like a puzzle, you know. Any person can see it and give his/her own answer. In other words, we're offering viewers to think by themselves, so that each person can imagine his/her own world. We will never offer the answers, even in the theatrical version. As for many Evangelion viewers, they may expect us to provide the 'all-about Eva' manuals, but there is no such thing. Don't expect to get answers by someone. Don't expect to be catered to all the time. We all have to find our own answers."
- Anno Hideaki - PA #43, translated by Miyako Graham from 11/96 Newtype
Disclaimer: Everything contained on this site represents my own personal opinion. My opinion is based upon the facts of the show, but some things are simply left unexplained, and like Anno says "We all have to find our own answers.". This is my interpretation, if you happen to disagree with anything I've said here, or want to ask a question, then feel free to email me.
© MDWigs 2002
An argument for the concurrent nature of episodes 26 and 26'
An argument for the concurrent nature of episodes 26 and 26' (Archival link)
I think that Evangelion episodes 25 and 26 and episodes 25' and 26' occur concurrently; I think they show dual views of the one single story thread.
Episode 25 follows episode 25' very closely (in pacing and theme, if not actual real events), and it should because episode 25 was based on the script for episode 25'. The images of Miasto slumped against a wall, Ritsuko floating in LCL and Asuka underwater in Eva-02 that are shown in the series ending are all glimpses into "reality", into what is actually going on in the real world. Most people generally agree that there is no great derivation between the two.
When it comes to 26 and 26' however the arguments begin. I will just state upfront now that I think the endings shown in episode 26 mirrors episode 26', that Shinji decided not to run away in both, that he decided to reject Complementation and return to reality.
I am going to quote big sections from the scripts to explain my reasoning here. This is necessary in my opinion because it pushes home the similarities between what is said in each ending, in some cases where the lines are almost identical. The following is from the end of episode 25; it sets the scene perfectly in my opinion. I will highlight the relevant lines that I think are most important and then compare them to lines said in the movie ending.
(The stage is illuminated) SHINJI: What the hell is this??
MISATO: This is the Instrumentality which your father has initiated.
SHINJI: This is it?
MISATO: This is part of it.
ASUKA: You can't tell what the truth is, Shinji.
RITSUKO: Truth is subjective. Therefore, you can barely tell that what you can feel is fact.
REI: The truth is within you.
FUYUTSUKI: And the facts that remain in your memory are what will become your truth.
RITSUKO: Truth can be changed from time to time, sometimes.
SHINJI: This is all fact! This is the result of... Everything?
ASUKA: This is real; but one of many realities.
MISATO: This is the conclusion you wanted.
SHINJI: Wanted...? Me?
REI: Yes; total destruction. You wished for a world in which nobody would be saved.
SHINJI: I didn't wish for this! The others didn't save me?!
RITSUKO: Nobody can save you from yourself.
KAJI: This is what you wished for.
ASUKA: Destruction. Death. And return to nothingness. You wished for these.
MISATO: This is the reality that is.
SHINJI: What is reality...?
REI: This is your world.
HYUGA: A world that exists solely for yourself; one without time, space, or anyone else.
AOBA: A world in which every facet is determined by you.
MAYA: This is the world where you just wait for others to give you something.
That is reality.
MISATO: This is your world unless you decide to change reality.
SHINJI: This is the world that is! Nothing can change that!
RITSUKO: No. You, yourself, make the decision.
FUYUTSUKI: This is the world where your mind decides what will be.
That is reality.
MISATO: Whether it is the will to survive...
ASUKA: Or a wish for death, it is all up to you.
SHINJI: Are you saying that this darkness -- this insane world -- are what I really wished to create?!
ASUKA: Yes.
KAJI: You wished for a closed world, that was comfortable for you.
HYUGA: You wished for it, in order to protect you from your weakness.
AOBA: To protect your few pleasures.
MAYA: This is merely a result of your wish.
MISATO: In your closed world, in a world where only you are allowed to be, others cannot live with you.
ASUKA: But still you wished to close off the world that surrounded you.
RITSUKO: Your wish ejected things you dislike, and created an isolated and lonely world filled with nothing.
REI: This is the world your wishes have created, a private haven in the recesses of the mind.
ASUKA: This is how it all ends; one of many possible endings.
MISATO: This is an ending you brought upon yourself. You chose this fate.
That sets the stage. That brings us into episode 26. Shinji is given the choice, it is made extremely clear that the choice is his; this world is of his making. It is stated more than ten times in that passage that even though this is the "Instrumentality" that was Gendou's plan, it is still Shinji's wish, his choice, his decision, for it to be this way. This mirrors very much what happened in the movie ending, it is Shinji's decision, and the fate of the world rests in his hands. Here is the scene from episode 26' that occurs just after Komm Suesser Tod starts playing, I think this shows equivalent feelings on Shinji's part, I'll juxtapose the specific lines next.
Shinji: Nobody understands me.
Rei: You didn't understand anything.
Shinji: I thought it was supposed to be a world without unpleasantness... without uncertainty.
Rei: Because you thought that everyone else was like you.
Shinji: Betrayed! You've betrayed my feelings!!
Rei: You've misunderstood from the start. You simply assumed without asking.
Shinji: Nobody wants me. So, everybody just die.
Rei: Then, what are those hands for?
<u?Shinji: Nobody cares whether I exist or not... Nothing will change. So, everybody just die.
Rei: Then,>what is that heart for?
Shinji: It'd be better if I wasn't here either. So I should just die, too.
Rei: Then, why are you here?
Note that this scene occurs just before Lilith expands her Anti-AT Field and everyone loses physical form. The "wish" of Shinji is clear to see here. Series: "KAJI: You wished for a closed world, that was comfortable for you.", Movie: "Shinji: I thought it was supposed to be a world without unpleasantness... without uncertainty. ".
The first scene I posted from episode 25 actually takes place after the second in my opinion. In the second we are shown that Shinji wishes for death, that he wishes everyone would just die, and immediately after that we see his wish effectively granted, that everyone loses physical form, they all revert to LCL. However he then gets the chance to ponder that decision, "Whether it is the will to survive... Or a wish for death, it is all up to you.". It is Shinji's choice, he is given it in the series ending and he is given it in the movie ending as well. And so it goes... everyone has "died"...
(Screen text: Do you feel good?)
(Three girls standing still in crowd)
Shinji (voice): I don't understand... I don't really understand reality.
Rei (voice): So, you can't understand the gap between other's reality and your own truth.
Shinji (voice): I don't know where to find happiness.
Rei (voice): So, you can only find happiness in your dreams.
(Crowded street- camera focuses on three individuals; dressed as Misato, Rei, and Asuka)
Shinji (voice): Then, this isn't reality... because no one is here.
Rei (voice): Yes, it's a dream.
Shinji (voice): So, I'm not here either.
Rei (voice): You were trying to remake reality with convenient fantasies.
Shinji (voice): Is that wrong?
Rei (voice): You were using fabrications to escape from reality.
Shinji (voice): Can't I dream alone?
Rei (voice): That would not be a dream. It would just be compensating for reality.
(Packed theatre -> empty theatre)
Shinji (voice): Then... where is my dream?
Rei (voice): It is the continuation of reality.
Shinji (voice): Where is... my reality?
Rei (voice): It is at the end of your dream.
(Flashing Japanese text and images)
SCENE: Blood/LCL gushes from Lilith-Rei's neck as she leans backwards
Here is basically compressed version of what happens in the first part of episode 26 in my opinion, Shinji begins to realise that what he was doing (what he "dreamed") wasn't really reality, that he was just escaping from reality, he was running away. The issue of running away of explored in episode 26.
SHINJI: I mustn't run away!
REI: Tell me why you mustn't run away.
SHINJI: Because -- escaping from reality can be painful!
REI: Even though you're running from something more painful?
SHINJI: I couldn't bear it...
ASUKA: As long as you know what the pain is, it can be endured.
MISATO: That's correct. If the pain is too harsh, you can escape it.
REI: If you really hate it, Shinji, you can still run.
SHINJI: No! I won't! I'm tired of escaping! Yes -- I mustn't run away!
MISATO: That is true. That is because you are now aware that running only brings you more pain.
ASUKA: This is because running away can be far worse.
REI: That's why you do not wish to escape.
SHINJI: Because if you run away, nobody will respect you!
Shinji confirms fully here that he must not run away, he solidifies that mindset, he wont run from his problems any more. Looking back over what has previously discussed, I think it is clear that Shinji's original "wish" was just another form of "running away", he wished for "a world without unpleasantness... without uncertainty", a place of safety where he was protected, that was in effect just another form of running away. The next scene in episode 26' is extremely important, because it is here that Shinji makes his decision, he changes his wish.
SCENE: Shinji and Rei merged together in the sea of LCL
Shinji: Ayanami... where are we?
Rei: This is the sea of LCL... The primordial soup of life. A world without AT Fields... without your own shape. An ambiguous world where it is impossible to tell where you end and other people start. A fragile world where you exist everywhere, and thus exist nowhere.
Shinji: Have I died?
Rei: No, everything has just been joined into one. This is the world you have been hoping for... your world.
Shinji: (releasing Misato's cross from his left hand) But... this isn't right. I don't think this is right.
Rei: If you wish once more for the existence of others, the barriers of the heart will separate everyone once more... And the fear of other people will begin again.
Shinji: That's all right... (disengages Rei from him and clasps her hand) Thank you.
(Shinji and Rei, Shinji's head lying in Rei's lap)
Shinji: I feel that there were only hateful things there. So I'm sure it was okay to run away. But there was nothing good in the place I ran to, either. After all, I didn't exist there... which is the same as no one existing.
Kaworu: Is it okay for AT Fields to hurt you and others once more?
Shinji: I don't mind. But, what are you two within my heart?
Rei: Hope. The hope that people might be able to understand one another.
Kaworu: And the words 'I love you'.
Shinji: But that's just pretending - a self-intoxicating belief... like a prayer. It can't possibly last forever. Sooner or later I'll be betrayed... And they'll leave me. Still... I want to meet them again, because I believe my feelings at that time were real.
Here we see the real turning point. Shinji's "wish world" is explained to him, and a number of lines are strikingly similar to ones said in episode 26. Here is a passage from episode 26 just before the parody sequence, note the underlined sections.
What is reality?
SHINJI: What is this... An empty space? An empty world? A world where nothing exists but myself? But with only myself, I have nothing to interact with! It's as if I'm here, but not here at all! It's as if I'm slowly fading out of existence...
Why?
YUI: Because only you are here.
SHINJI: Only... Myself?
YUI: Without others to interact with, you cannot truly recognize your own image.
SHINJI: My own image?
The image of myself?
MISATO: That's right! In the act of observing others, you may find, and recognize, yourself.
ASUKA: Your self-image is restrained by having to observe the barriers between yourself, and others.
REI: And yet, you cannot see yourself without the presence of others.
SHINJI: Because there are others, I can perceive myself as an individual! If I am alone, then I will be the same without others! For if this world is only of me, then there will be no difference between me and nothing!
MISATO: By recognizing the differences between yourself and others, you establish your identity as 'yourself'.
I think it is apparent when you review this scene in the context of the one from episode 26', that Shinji's "empty world" is the world without AT Fields. It is a world where the barriers between people cease to exist, there is no different between Shinji and anyone else, no difference between himself and nothing, it is the same as if he didn't exist. Here Complementation is equated with ceasing to exist.
At this point in episode 26', Shinji rejects Complementation. Eva-01 breaks out of Lilith's eye, Lilith collapses and the Black Moon explodes. It is quite clear that Shinji rejects complementation here in the movie, but in the series ending there is still the next step to go (which I think is also somewhat mirrored in EoE, and has to do with not just rejecting Complementation, but deciding to return to reality).
After the parody scene in episode 26 comes an extremely important sequence, so important I'll post the original Japanese here as confirmation of the translation.
SHINJI: ...I see. So this is another possibility. Another possible reality! This current 'myself' is the same way! It's not the true 'myself'! I can be any way I wish to be! I see! And 'myself' who is not an EVA pilot can exist as well!
MISATO: If you take that into consideration, then perhaps the real world isn't that bad. (Sou omoeba, kono genjitsu-sekai mo kesshite warui-monja naiwa)
SHINJI: Still... The real world itself might not be bad, but I could still hate myself. (genjitu-sekai wa, waruku-nai kamo shire-nai, demo jibun wa kiraida)
Just to note "genjitsu" = real and "sekai" = world so "genjitsu-sekai" means "real-world".
Here after "experiencing" the parody world, Shinji realises that life has many possibilities, and that Shinji as a person can exist even if he isn't an Eva pilot, and thus, as Miasto points out to him, the real world, genjitu-sekai, reality, isn't so bad after all. Shinji accepts that the real-world might not be bad, but he still hates himself. Shinji hating himself is the last obstacle; he still doesn't see value in himself. It goes on from there, the final scene.
HYUGA: But it's your mind which takes reality and separates it into what's bad and hateful.
AOBA: It is only the mind which separates reality from truth.
MAYA: The angle of view and the position from which you view your reality, will change your perception of its nature. It is all, literally, a matter of perspective.
KAJI: There are as many truths as there are people.
KENSUKE: But there is only one truth that is your truth. That's the one that's formed from whatever point of view that you choose to view it from! It's a revised perception, that protects you!
TOJI: That's true! And one can have a perspective that's far too small!
HIKARI: However, a person can only see things from the perspective that they choose to see them from.
ASUKA: One must learn to judge things via the perceived truths that one receives from others.
MISATO: For example, sunny days make you feel good.
REI: Rainy days make you feel gloomy.
ASUKA: If you are told this is so, then that is what you believe is so.
RITSUKO: But you can have fun on a rainy day, as well!
FUYUTSUKI: Your truth can be changed simply by the way you accept it. That's how fragile the truth, for a human, is.
KAJI: A person's truth is so simple, that most ignore it, to concentrate on what they think are deeper truths.
GENDO: You, for example, are simply unused to what it is to be liked by others.
MISATO: You've never learned how to deal with fearing what others feel about you, and so you avoid it.
SHINJI: But... Don't the others hate me?
ASUKA: What are you, stupid?! Haven't you realized it's all in your imagination, you mega-dork?
SHINJI: But... I hate myself.
REI: One who truly hates himself, cannot love. He cannot place his trust in another.
SHINJI: I'm a coward. I'm cowardly, sneaky and weak!
MISATO: No. Only if you think you are. But if you know yourself, you can take care of yourself.
SHINJI: I... hate myself... but... but, maybe... maybe, I could love myself...! Maybe... My life could have a greater value...! That's right! I'm no more, or less, than myself! I am me! I want to be myself! I want to continue existing in this world! My life is worth living here!!
They show Shinji that he can have value in his life. It is that simple, that he can love and care for other people, that he has worth. Previously he accepts that the real world might not be so bad, but he still hates himself, now he realises that he doesn't have to hate himself, that his life can have value. In the end he decides to continue to exist (note that it has been previously established, by Shinji's own words, that if he accepted Complementation he would "cease to exist"), he choses to keep living, to not cease to be.
In episode 26' we see Shinji back in reality, he is on Earth, in the real world, he keeps living, he has rejected Complementation. In episode 26 we see this "dark room" blasted away, we see Shinji say he wants to keep living, he wants to exist, he is congratulated by everyone in his imaginary world (including a very dead Kaji, which should tell everyone that this scene is very much fantasy, and not some "image" of Complementation) and then with a smile, the new Shinji, the Shinji with value, disappears from our screen with a thank you to everyone.
The final text on the screen at the end of episode 26 includes a farewell to Shinji's mother, which is mirrored in episode 26' "Good-bye, mother.". Shinji returns to reality, and Yui floats away into space in Eva-01.
So there you have it, my argument for the concurrent nature of episodes 26 and 26'. I think that they both essentially show the same thing, that they both portray a boy, discovering that his life is worth living. This is a rather extended explanation of my stance and it is based solely on the series and movies endings themselves. I could have provided extra external evidence to support my position, but I didn't use them to establish this position in the first place, so I don't think they are needed now to show how I got here. I have always thought Shinji rejected Complementation, from the first time I saw the series ending oh so many years ago. The entire last sequence of episode 26 is one of triumph, of success, of revelation, it never even occurred to me that all this would happen and them *bang* Shinji would effectively cease to be. When I first saw End of Evangelion, it only served to show me the reality of what I already believed from the series.
Many people will disagree with this interpretation of the series ending, and they are more than welcome to, after all every one of us is simply trying to find our own answers.
EoE Live Sequence and Alternate Endings
From MDWigs' old website, see the original Animeboards post and thread.
First a basic introduction. The majority if this information was first discussed in the beginning of 2000 on the japan.anime.evangelion newsgroup. Olivier Hagué the resident Eva expert there at the time (and he still is, though he hasn't been posting as much lately) informed us of a cache of information he had gotten his hands upon.
If you want to check the original threads then do a google groups search for Olivier and "Good appetite", because that is what started it off because Olivier had asked an upstart newbie a rather challenging trivia question.
"Who's the Eva character "24 years old Asuka" was supposed to sleep with in the removed live action sequence of "the End of Evangelion"?"
Well the answer is Touji.
Well we all went "WHAHA" to which Olivier replied.
She wakes up and realizes they spent the night together. Then she goes to the bathroom and realizes she has some *** left in her mouth.
Good appetite, everyone. ^^;
And so it began ^_^
Now some of you may have see the theatrical trailer for "The End of Evangelion". It is a live action trailer, and the scenes shown are excepts of what was supposed to be a much longer live action sequence for episode 26'. For some reason (that Olivier wasn't aware of, and till this day I still haven't discovered) Anno couldn't make/edit it correctly, so all you get to see are a few live shots of Tokyo including the one of the "live" Asuka(Miyamura Yuuko), Misato(Mitsuishi Kotono) and Rei/(Hayashibara Megumi) standing in the crowd with Shinji and Rei talking in the background.
Anyway the scene with Asuka in the bathroom was just the beginning of the much larger complete live action sequence.
According to Olivier:
After that, we get to see Misato (Asuka's neighbour) talking at phone with her friend Ritsuko...
And also Asuka going to work (she's an office lady, it seems) and talking about love with her "senpai", Rei.
Anyway we bugged Olivier about his sources and he said that the only thing he could find in official documents about the live sequence was an interview with Anno where he said that he couldn't do what he had first planed for with that sequence (ie what we saw as opposed to the larger sequence).
Then (and this is what got us most excited) Olivier revealed that he managed to get the original scenario's of episodes 25' and 26'. These have never been published officially, and he was really lucky to get a hold of them. Well in this scenario, other than a different lead up to the ending we eventually saw it was revealed that it featured two other different endings.
Over a great deal of posts spanning quite a lot of time we managed to get Olivier to translate the sequences for us. So from where we left off before...
Anyway this live sequence ends with Asuka walking in the streets of the city (called Tokyo-2 in the scenario). We hear Shinji calling her name. Asuka stops and turns her head toward the camera (this scene is seen from Shinji's point of view), but the camera hides itself behind a pole. Asuka doesn't seem to see anything and leaves. The camera follows her. Shinji then says "I'm not here", and the image suddenly stops, as if somebody had pressed "pause".
Shinji says this is not the reality, just a world without him. It doesn't change anything, except that nobody knows of him here. Then, he begins to talk with Rei, and the contents of their conversation is pretty much similar to that of the "theatre audience live action scene" of episode 26'. When Rei says that "that's not a dream, just a phantasm. A compensation for reality.", the image disappears, as if the tape had been cut.
We're in "celluloid world" again. ^^
Shinji looks in his left hand and sees Misato's pendant.
Misato: "Are you just going to give up now!?" (<- episode 25')
Shinji suddenly wakes up (like in the "hospital scenes" of the series).
Back in "real world"! ^^;
On a TV screen flows the "hospital scene" of episode 16, with Shinji and Rei talking. We barely hear what they're saying because of "real world noises" offscreen.
Shinji: "Where is the true reality?"
Shinji (?? it's just weird, here... I'd say it's Rei, instead of Shinji, but?... ^^; ): "At the end of the dream"
We then see Misato (Mitsuishi Kotono), Rei (Hayashibara Megumi) and Asuka (Miyamura Yuuko) standing still in the street, looking directly at the camera (this shot remained in episode 26').
Shinji's voice: "I'm sorry, Ayanami. I'll return to where I used to be. There may be nobody there, by now, but I'll return. I guess there is nothing good for me, there, never was and never will be, but I'll return. Because it's the place I belong and I have to live in."
Rei's voice: "If you really don't like it, you can give up."
Shinji's voice: "That's fine."
Yui's voice: "So, you'll be okay, now?"
Shinji's voice: "Yeah. That will be okay for now."
Rei's voice: "I see."
Back in "anime world again".
Shinji wakes up (same "hospital scene" but with orange-like colours)
Shinji: "Where am I?"
Image of an empty entry-plug (like in episode 20, without the plug suit).
Shinji: "The entry plug of Eva-01?"
Shinji: "But I'm not here."
"This is the sea of LCL... The primordial soup of life. A world without AT Fields... Without your own shape."
"An ambiguous world where it is impossible to tell where you end and other people start."
"A fragile world where you exist everywhere, and thus exist nowhere."
"You must recover you lost self on your own."
"When you'll be back on Earth, if you succeed to imagine yourself, everybody will be able to recover."
"Back on Earth?"
"Yes, go back to Earth."
"If you don't try to imagine any evolution yourself, nothing will ever change."
"It is the hearts of people that create their appearance."
"And new images will change peoples' hearts and appearances."
"The power of humans is the power of imagination."
"All living things have the ability to return to their original form. As long as the Sun, the Moon and the Earth exist, everything will be all right. "
Rei and Kaoru are standing in front of Shinji.
Rei: "Only Angels can break the walls of an Angel heart."
Kaoru" And only humans can break the walls of a human heart."
Rei: "This is a possibility."
Kaoru: "The possibility that people can understand each other, sometimes."
Rei: "That they can understand each other without relying on words."
Shinji: "But that's just a make-believe."
Shinji: "Just a wish."
Shinji: "Just a prayer."
Rei: "But that instant is sincere."
Lots of people grow from Rei's body (!!?!? like with Lilith and her human legs?!? ^^;;; )
Rei: "Do you want to be, even if it may hurt somebody?"
Shinji: "I'll get hurt too."
Shinji: "But I can't do a thing if I keep fearing. I can't live."
Rei: "You protect yourself by hurting others, don't you?"
Shinji: "Maybe. But I'll hurt them in order to be myself. And I'll expiate as well."
Shinji: "For being alive."
Shinji: "But I find it harder to hurt others."
Shinji: "I'm just realizing this again. And I'll keep doing this over and over."
Shinji destroys the Spear of Longinus.
"Why are you crying?"
"Because you're alive, Ayanami. Because you're here."
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do at times like this."
Second Rei: "You should smile."
Shinji: "I just feel like I finally understood. I can't. I and the others aren't the same. I'm nothing but one. Even why I pilot Eva, even when I don't, I'm nothing but I. That's all."
The Rei-faced Eva series begin to take out their Spears of Longinus.
Their Cores are chipped, then destroyed.
The Eva series become darker, like petrified, and fall on Earth one after another.
Then follows the destruction of Lilith and the Black Moon seen in episode 26'.
(I found an (interesting?) note from Anno, though.
When the Evas are shown descending on Earth, he insisted that we could see them all around the world, at different times of the day. Morning, noon, evening. But _not_ during night. He clearly stressed that point.)
Eva-01 is then shown attracted by the Moon.
Shinji pulls the induction lever, and the plug cover is released by the security device.
Then flows the flashback with Yui and Fuyutsuki talking about the purpose of Eva. This scene remained the same.
The entry plug is ejected from Eva-01.
Yui's hand go away from Shinji's cheek.
You know this one, it's in the finished episode as well. ^^
Yui: "You'll be okay, now."
Shinji "Yes."
Shinji: "Good-bye, mother." The entry plug falls in the LCL ocean (but Anno adds "maybe we could get rid of that?").
Fade out (Anno: "is there another way?")
So there it is. That is the lead up. After that we were all drooling for me, Olivier helped us out though by promptly posting his summaries of the two different endings (called "Last A" and "Last B" in the scenarios).
Last A
You already know the beginning of this one (a beach, petrified headless Evas, etc).
Thew, we see the graves Shinji made (it's stated by Anno it was _he_ who made them). The names of all main Eva characters are written on them, except for "Ayanami Rei". We then see Asuka's grave.
And Asuka's foot kicking it to the ground. ^^;
(you can still see these graves in the actual ending... no names, but there is Misato's pendant nailed on one of them, and an other has been kicked down ^^ )
We then see Shinji and Asuka on the beach... and you know that scene, too (but this draft demonstrates that Shinji and Asuka didn't just wake up there after Third Impact... they've been living here for some times... meaning they _could_ be the two only humans willing to return, after all... ^^; )
When Shinji starts crying, Asuka was supposed to say something like "Idiot. No way I'll let you kill me" ("idiot" was removed in the storyboards... and the whole line was modified, eventually).
Then, the ending music (so, there was one... ^^ ) was supposed to begin, and the staff credits were to appear (Anno suggests a horizontal scrolling, like in GunBuster, I guess).
We were to see Eva-01 lying on the Moon, and woman's hair showing from its broken mask (but her face remains unseen).
Behind Eva-01, you could see Earth, entirely red.
And the Black Moon, destroyed.
The camera goes to the sun, then to the stars.
Credits end.
"Shûgeki" ("the end").
Now the true ending is based upon Last A. Last B is slightly different.
Last B
It begins like the previous one, but Asuka doesn't show up in the "graves scene".
We then see Shinji lying on the beach.
His right hand is holding a white one.
"I'll never see them again."
"It's better to think of it this way."
"I'm still alive, so I'll keep on living."
He squeezes the hand harder.
Then, he sees Rei (like in the actual episode and Last A).
We eventually see that there is nobody lying near Shinji. Just a white arm without the rest of the body.
The camera then shows the full moon.
The ending credits are the same as in Last A.
(that one was rather sick... ^^; )
So there you have it.
We have discussed the original last line here before. At that time EvaOtaku posted this picture:
Which is a scan of the Story Board Collection page for 'Magokoro wo Kimi ni' from the Japanese boxset. Highlighted in yellow is the original alternate line "...Anta nanka ni korosareru no wa mappira yo".
Unfortunately Olivier doesn't have a scanner, we know, we asked, so I can't post any images of the original scenario he translated these descriptions from. However it all checks out and I hold Olivier in the highest regard so I consider this information to be practically canon material.
(Edit: Actually it turns out that Olivier didn't have the originals, the scans were in references to scenes from the storyboard book, one such scan by EvaOtaku is posted above. EvaOtaku has kindly pointly me to This site which contains the original Japanese of these scenarios.)
I hope you guys enjoy it ^_^
The Case of Asuka Langley Sohryu
Taken from an AnimeBoards post of mine: See This Thread.
Well I have some free time, so I finally decided to re-write my analysis of Asuka based upon what happens in Episodes 25 and 26. This one is more comprehensive than the Misato one (which you can find Here) partly because I am have done this one before and partly because Asuka is my favourite character. Anyway the same format as usual, "//" will indicate my comments. Again I have used the ADV script, over the literal translation. I will make a specific comment if I think the ADV translation isn't accurate enough. So Enjoy ^_^
ASUKA: If you want real happiness, you've got to find it for yourself, not wait for someone to give it to you!
REI: But isn't that what you've been doing?
ASUKA: ...!
The Second Character The Case of Asuka Langley Sohryu
(EVA-02 beneath the lake)
// This is one of the shots that exist in reality (Asuka is shown down in the lake in Eva-02 in Episode 25') Of course they didn't get to expand upon it within Episodes 25' and 26' themselves but it gives you some sort of setting from which to view all that is happening within her mind.
ASUKA: I didn't want to be in this thing again... They're forcing me to pilot this...! But this piece of junk won't work... But it's only junk because of what I've become... I'm the garbage, now. I'm worthless... Nobody needs me. Nobody needs a pilot who can't even control her own EVA...!
// The setting, as per the above shot, is Asuka in Eva-02 in the bottom of the lake. This is before she "discovered" her mother and shows how she perceives her values as an Eva pilot and nothing else. This is pretty much rock bottom for Asuka.
REI: You seek your own value in the perception of others.
ASUKA: SHUT UP!!!
Separation Anxiety
REI: Do you fear being alone?
Separation Anxiety
REI: Are you afraid that you will lose your identity if others leave you?
Separation Anxiety
YOUNG ASUKA: You pilot EVA so you'll be praised!
Affection Behavior
ASUKA: SHUT UP!!
Affection Behavior
ASUKA: SHUT UP!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! HOW CAN A WIND-UP DOLL LIKE YOU DARE TELL ME THAT?!
// The is just the prelude to the real case of Asuka Langley Sohryu. The above sequence happens in Episode 25, the following in Episode 26'. That sequence is just to reaffirm Asuka's outlook on life and of herself as an Eva pilot. She does based her value in the perception of others and in their perception of her as an Eva pilot, when she can no longer pilot her Eva she thinks that she has no value.
CASE 2
ASUKA: Where am I?
SHINJI: This is the 'me' which exists in your mind, Asuka.
ASUKA: And also, this is the 'me' which exists in Shinji's mind, at the same time.
// This is the standard intro. A separation of reality. People are made up of the perceptions of others.
The Case of Asuka Langley Sohryu, Part 1-
SHINJI: What do you want, Asuka?
YOUNG ASUKA: I wanna live by myself! I don't want my Papa, and my Mama! I'll live by myself! And then, I won't cry any more!
// Here is typical Asuka proclaiming herself to be fiercely independent. We actually get to see the reason for it though here, which most people would have guessed, and it is a fairly obvious tact to take, but Asuak states here explicitly. She wants to be independent, to be strong, because she doesn't want to cry, she doesn't want to be hurt. It is her way with dealing with the issue of trust and pain that people can cause her.
(Young Asuka crying )
ASUKA: But I'm still crying! Why am I crying?
// Yet she still realised that the way she goes about doing it doesn't solve all her problems. She isn't happy. She still gets hurt. She still is crying.
ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: I'm sorry... I just don't like her.
ASUKA'S FATHER: What happened to you, the "able doctor"?
ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: I told you, I'm a human being before I'm a doctor.
// She previously "told him" back in Episode 22 when talking about if God sees humans as just dolls.
ASUKA'S FATHER: But how can a trained person like you--
ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: She acts too much like an adult! And she rejects me absolutely! Sometimes... She even scares me! Have you had such a feeling with her?
ASUKA'S FATHER: No. And in any case, you have now become Asuka's mother.
ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: I'm your wife before that!
ASUKA'S FATHER: Both duties are concurrent.
ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: In a social perspective, yes, but you can't quit being her father. But I can quit being her mother, anytime.
ASUKA'S FATHER: Well, you could say so...
// This is a bit of an aside, but it does give insight to how Asuka's attitude at a very young age affects other people. Even when she was very young her efforts to be independent, to not rely on anyone else scared away her step-mother.
YOUNG ASUKA: No, Mama! Don't leave me! I'll be good, promise! Don't stop being my mother! Don't ignore me!! No, Mama! Don't kill me!!
KYOUKO: Your Papa hates your Mama. He doesn't need me, anymore... No. He didn't love me, to begin with. So let's die together, because he doesn't want us. He didn't need me, at all. And he doesn't want you, either, Asuka.
YOUNG ASUKA: I'm not wanted?! I'm not worth anything?!
KYOUKO: Die with me...
YOUNG ASUKA: No!! I am not your doll!! I'll think by myself, and live by myself!!
// This is obviously where Asuka gets her aversion to Dolls, and thus to Rei. Her mother talked to a doll and treated it like Asuka, she also in the end wanted Asuka to die with her, and told Asuka some very horrible things. Even for a mentally unstable person I think that Kyouko is pretty stuffed up to tell her daughter than she isn't wanted, that she is worthless. Anyway this seems to be the start of Asuka's efforts to be dependent any nobody but herself.
ASUKA: ...And then, my mother was hanging from the ceiling. She... looked so happy.
ASUKA: But I hated how she looked. I don't want to die! I don't want to disappear! ...I hate this! I hate -- boys! I hate my father, and my mother! I hate -- everyone! Nobody cares about me, nobody stays with me!!
// This is what is all comes down to. She is Alone. Nobody ever stays with her. She hates it, and she hates the pain it causes.
What does she really wish?
ASUKA: So I don't want to depend on anybody. ...But I hate it, at the same time! It's a pain! I don't want to be alone! I don't wanna be alone, I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!!
// Here is the problem, and Asuka realised it. She wants to be independent, yet she sees that her strong willed attitude causes people to move away from her, to eventually leave her alone, and she really doesn't want that at all.
SHINJI: Don't leave me.
MISATO: Don't ignore me.
ASUKA: Don't kill me!
// It is interesting to note that out of the three Asuka is the only one who specifically says she doesn't want to die. Perhaps a reference to her mother wanting her dead (her mentally unstable mother, not the soul within Eva-02) or maybe even to Shinji trying to kill her.
(The stage is illuminated)
If you want more insight into Asuka's mind, have a look at the extended mind rape scene from the Japanese Video Version of Episode 22. Overall though her problem is very easy to define, and I am sure a lot of us have similar problems (I know I do). Asuka strives to be independent, she doesn't want to be dependant on anyone, this is so that she minimised the chance of her being hurt by those she grow to trust and depend on. However by never trusting or depending on anyone she ultimately causes herself to be even more alone.
The Case of Misato Katsuragi
Taken from an AnimeBoards post of mine: See This Post.
Lets go over the Case of Misato Katsuragi step by step shall we. From the ADV script (becuase this last bit in the literal translation sounds a bit off). I did this for Asuka a while ago, though I have lost my copy of that unfortunately. It is about time I do it for Misato. I'll interspace my comments with "//"
CASE 1
MISATO: Where am I?
The Case of Misato Katsuragi, Part 1
SHINJI: This is the 'me' that exists in your mind, Misato.
MISATO: And yet at the same time, this is also the 'me' which exists in your mind, isn't it Shinji?
SHINJI: In order to establish my identity, I have to communicate with the minds of many people. I have to examine that which is at my core. I have to stare at Misato, who resides on the inside of my mind. What is it that you wish for, Misato?
// Ok this is pretty straight forward. Bascially just explaining a step in Instrumentality. This is Misato in Shinji's mind, and Shinji in Misato's mind. This is thier thoughts intermingling.
Do you want to be good?
Y.MISATO: I have to be a good child.
Why?
Y.MISATO: Because I have no Daddy; because I have to be good and not bother my Mommy. But I don't want to become like my mom; when my father's not here, she always cries. I can't cry, I can't depend on anyone else. So I have to be good! That way, maybe my father won't hate me so much. I hope. Maybe my father won't hate me if I be good.
MISATO: But I hated my father... and I hated being a good child. I hated it... I'm tired of it, I'm tired of wiping myself clean. I'm tired of pretending to be pure and noble. I'm so tired of it all! I want to disgrace myself, to get so dirty that no one can stand it! I want to see my life and my reputation ruined!
// She wants to be good, she wants her fathers praise, she wants to be loved by him, yet at the same time she hates him, she hates what he did to her mother, and she hates maintaining this "good" charade.
RITSUKO: Is that why you slept with him? With Kaji?
MISATO: No! I slept with him because I loved him!
Y.MISATO: You did?
Y.MISATO: Did you really love him?
MISATO: Yes I did! He accepted me as myself, for the real me!
Are you sure?
// She isn't sure. He may have accepted her, but in part her actions were based on her wanting to disgrace herself. She believed she loved him, yet she ending up running away from him.
MISATO: That's why I let him make love to me! (Misato and Kaji having sex, while Shinji watches)
MISATO: No! Don't show Shinji this! I don't want him to see that side of me--!
KAJI: Why are you still embarrassed after all that's happened?
MISATO: Because I'm ashamed of it!
MISATO: Why is this embarrassing? You weren't ashamed then; you were glad to show your true nature to the man you loved. In fact, you took great pleasure in it...
MISATO: No! Don't do this!
MISATO: You wanted to dirty yourself. You should be happy to show this side of yourself to Shinji, shouldn't you?
MISATO: No! No, no!
MISATO: Are you sure? Or is it perhaps your father that you'd like to show this to?
MISATO: NO!
MISATO: Wasn't it really peace of mind that you were seeking in Kaji's bed?
MISATO: NO!!
MISATO: You wanted peace of mind and warmth from Kaji, then?
MISATO: NO!!
MISATO: You wanted to find your father in Kaji's embrace, didn't you!
MISATO: IT'S NOT TRUE!!!
MISATO: But it is true. In Kaji, I'd found my father reborn. And so I fled from him; I was so afraid. He was so much like my father. But at the same time, I was also very happy. I was never happier! That was such a wonderful time... That's why I hated it. That's why I left. ...That's why I ran away.
// Misato pretty much answers her own question, which is one of the things I loved about the original ending. It asked questions but it gave answers. It allowed us to look directly into what Misato was thinking and to get definate reasons behind her actions. She wanted to find her father in Kaji's embrace. She was happy, Kaji accepted her for who she was, yet at the same time he was very much like her father. She had already seen the result her father had on her mother, and she was afraid, he and abandoned her, and she thought Kaji would do the same, so in the end she ran away.
KAJI: So. No reason was required to begin our love, but you needed a reason for ending it.
MISATO: Yes. You were so kind, Kaji... You were so kind to disgrace me... To dirty me... to deflower me...
KAJI: Just because you hate yourself is no reason to injure yourself further. Punishing yourself is simply a cheat, to make you feel better for a little while. Don't do this to yourself.
MISATO: And now you'll tell me to take care of myself?!
MISATO: Men always do that. They'll escape to their jobs... their own world... and leave me behind. They always leave me behind!
Y.MISATO: Always. Just like our father did.
// She was hurt by her father. She saw her father in Kaji. She liked that about him, but at the same time was afraid. Like all the characters she had a fundamental fear of being alone.
MISATO: They always escape from the harsh reality. Harsh reality... I am his harsh reality. ...Of course, I have a problem.
// "I am his harsh reality", love that line. It rings so true ^_^
SHINJI: Stop this! Misato...
MISATO: Why should anyone else love me, anyway?! I hate myself!!
// Here actually if you watch the footage it alludes to when Misato goes into Shinji's bedroom in Episode 23. In that scene it seems (according to a couple of different sources) that Misato really was trying to sleep with Shinji. She didn't want to be alone and thus turned to Shinji for companionship (Kaji was dead by this point).
MAYA: You're vulgar, and impure.
RITSUKO: You're pathetic.
ASUKA: You're gross and disgusting! I've never seen anyone in such a disgusting relationship!
HYUGA: Congratulations, on your promotion, Major Katsuragi.
MISATO: The 'me' who is recognized is the 'me' who is performing a role in order to be appreciated, but she's not the real 'me'.
Y.MISATO: Your true self is always crying, isn't she?
MISATO: Yes... But I am happy.
Am I happy?
MISATO: I am happy.
Am I happy?
MISATO: It's true, I am happy.
Am I happy?
MISATO: I'm not! This isn't the happiness I wanted!
What is happiness?
MISATO: This isn't me, it is not the true 'myself'! I just don't want to face the harsh reality!!
SHINJI: But we have to. We cannot live otherwise.
SHINJI: You know you'd be alone and afraid...
REI: Unstable...
RITSUKO: If nobody was sleeping next to you.
ASUKA: Are you afraid of sleeping alone?
MAYA: Or does sleeping by yourself remind you of how empty your life is?
KAJI: She can't stand not having other souls around her.
HYUGA: So, you'll sleep with anyone, won't you, Major?
MISATO: No!
MISATO: Yes, you just want to be infatuated with primal ecstasy. You want to fill the hole in your heart with temporary escape. You take advantage of men, to soothe the pain in your soul.
// Again a question is posed and Misato answers it herself. She trys to find ways to keep her life from being empty. She loved Kaji, she spent a whole week sleeping with him. This is her way of escaping. It is another form of running away, Shinji shy's from human contact, Asuka imposes herself on everyone, Misato both wants to be a "good child" and yet as Ritsuko commented at the end of Episode 20, she runs off to Kaji the night after Shinji is "returned".
MISATO: No, no, no!!
What does she really wish?
// So what does Misato really wish? She wants what we all want, not to be alone. She doesn't want to be ignored. She wants to be happy. I think if you read through what is actually said it is quite clear what Misato's problems are. Of course they mirror Anno's problems, in fact that mirror problems we probably all have had at some point in our lives. I think that is one thing that makes Eva so good. It is real.
Kimochi Warui
Taken from an Everything2 node of mine: See This Node.
Kimochi warui
These were Asuka Langley Sohryu's last words in The End of Evangelion.
These last words have caused endless discussions by Western Eva no otaku because of the fact that the line "kimochi warui" cannot be perfectly translated into English. Of course like everything Eva related it caused big discussions among Japanese otaku as well.
To translate "kimochi warui" you must first fully understand how Asuka was feeling by the end of the last scene. This is what causes all the problems because the line can be interpreted in a number of different ways depending on how you perceive the situation and it is a classic example of what makes Neon Genesis Evangelion so brilliant.
The following is a list of possible translations, and then my interpretation of what the line means. Please note that this is just my interpretation; it is what I think. There is no one correct translation.
"kimochi warui" can translate to:
- I feel sick
- I don't feel well
- What a disgusting feeling
- How disgusting
- I don't like this feeling
- This feeling sucks
Of course this is by no means an exhaustive list but you get the idea. Now as to what I think it means; I think the clues lie in the only two other times that "kimochi warui" is uttered in Evangelion. The first time it is said is in Evangelion Episode 01 when Shinji Ikari "breathed" LCL for the first time. LCL is "kimochi warui" according to Shinji.
The second time it is said by Asuka herself, in the Redone Evangelion Episode 22. In the bathroom scene just after the scene of Asuka talking on the phone with her "mother", Asuka says (translated into Enlish):
Kimochi warui.
Who wants to bathe in the same water that Misato and Baka Shinji have bathed in?
Who wants to use a washing machine that Misato and Baka Shinji have washed their underwear in?
Who wants to sit on a toilet that Misato and Baka Shinji have used?
Who wants to breath the same air as Misato and Baka Shinji?
The scene goes on from there. Basically she is complaining about how she has to live in the same space as Misato and Stupid Shinji.
I think that maybe Asuka said "kimochi warui" at the end of Evangelion Episode 26', the end of The End of Evangelion, because she was recalling when she was in LCL, as LCL herself, and when her mind was being merged with the whole of humanity. She was saying "kimochi warui", "How disgusting."(as I prefer to translate it), because of everything she just went through, both physically and mentally, physically because of he being in LCL, of being LCL when she lost physical form, and mentally because in that state, and during Instrumentality her soul was bared to the world, she wasn't just sharing Shinji and Misato's bath and toilet and air, she was in a way sharing them with everyone else in the world. That is my take on it at least. Of course like everything in Eva, and as Hideaki Anno said; "We all have to find our own answers.".
Something interesting to note is that Asuka's original last words (in the storyboards) were supposed to be "...Anta nanka ni korosareru no wa mappira yo" which translates roughly into "No Way, I'll never let you kill me". Apparently Anno Hideaki asked Asuka's Seiyuu (Voice Actor) Miyamura Yuuko to think about another line and the infamous "kimochi warui" is what she came up with. So Asuka's last words were written by Miyamura and not Anno!
Now what I posted above is more focued on why Asuka said Kimochi warui, than why did Shinji strange Asuka in the first place. For a long while all we had were theories. There is little evidence presented in that scene so it comes down to your perception of what the characters were thinking and what their motivations were. They were theories until Bochan_Bird from the Eva ML translated some of the Eva card game cards. The following the the description on the Kimochi warui card.
Part II (movies) Drama card D-88 Title: "Kimochi warui" Small print:
"Shinji renounced the world where all hearts had melted into one and accepted each other unconditionally. His desire... to live with 'others' -- other hearts that would sometimes reject him, even deny him. That is why the first thing he did after coming to his senses was to place his hands around Asuka's neck. To feel the existence of an 'other'. To confirm (make sure of) rejection and denial."
So it would seem that Shinji's motivation lies in his need to "feel the existence of an 'other'".
Who Shot Ryoji Kaji?
Ryoji Kaji is probably the coolest character in Neon Genesis Evangelion. He was a "Triple Agent", working for the Special Inspections Division of NERV, the Investigations Department of the Japanese Ministry of Internal Affairs, and also directly for SEELE. He was the "James Bond" of Evangelion, he did all the cool stuff, he slept with the hottest babe (Misato Katsuragi), he was always searching for the truth, and in the end his actions brought about his demise. In Evangelion Episode 21, with the famous last words " Oh, what took you so long?", the gunshot sounded and Kaji was killed.
Debate has raged for years among Eva no Otaku over who shot Kaji. We never see the shooter, never hear them speak, we only ever see Kaji greeting them (nonchalant as ever) and then hearing the gunshot.
First I shall attempt to squash any ideas that Kaji wasn't even shot, that it was all an elaborate ruse. This theory circulates most among the legions of devoted Kaji lovers out there, who can't stand to believe that their favourite character was shot and killed. Discounting all the evidence in the series that suggests Kaji was shot, (Misato crying over the answering machine, Asuka suggesting in Episode 22 when the phone rings and it could be Kaji, and Misato saying that it can't be him, in Redone Evangelion Episode 24 Shinji comes straight out and tells Asuka that Kaji is never coming back, but Asuka says he is lying), it states directly in The End of Evangelion - Theatrical Program, which is an official canon document, that Kaji was shot to death. He is dead. But who killed him? Who shot Ryoji Kaji?
A lot of Japanese viewers thought that Misato Katsuragi shot Kaji. They believed that because you see the door of Misato's apartment closing just after the gunshot (you see the name plate on it saying "M. KATSURAGI"), it must mean that Anno Hideaki (the director/creator of Evangelion) wanted to hint that Misato killed Kaji. Anno never intended this cut to be a clue of any sort. In fact he was taken aback when he heard that's fans thought it was Misato. He stated directly that it wasn't Misato and he even edited Evangelion Episode 21 for the Japanese Video release to remove the cut of the door saying "M. KATSURAGI") and just putting in a cut of the street instead. He removed it because he didn't want people thinking it was Misato! He was actually shocked that people thought it was Misato and was embarrassed that people thought they found "hints" where there were actually no "hints" at all. Some also point to where Misato threatened to kill Kaji in Evangelion Episode 15 as proof that she actually did in Episode 21. This doesn't hold up though because by Episode 21 (and this is show specifically at the end of Episode 20) Misato and Kaji are both doing the same thing, "looking for the truth", after Kaji is killed the baton is passed onto Misato to uncover the "truth".
Anno has said straight out that it wasn't Misato who shot Kaji. Also in the "Checkpoint" section of the official film book, it states that the person who shot Kaji was not a main character. It was some nameless security officer from either NERV or SEELE.
In the original scenario for Episode 21 there is a scene where one of the NERV security officers enters Gendou's office and tells him that Fuyutsuki has returned but that they couldn't find the man who kidnapped him (which of course is Kaji). Then the scene that follows is where the NERV security officer goes to Misato, gives her gun back, and tells her that "it's over now" and that they "don't know where 'he' is". It seems clear that nobody at NERV knows where Kaji is.
SEELE would though. In Evangelion Episode 20 SEELE refer to Kaji as a bell attached to Gendou Ikari's neck but which doesn't ring. Then they say that they will make the bell work. Kaji kidnaps Fuyutsuki for SEELE, but then in the end he frees him. In the redone Evangelion Episode 21 there is added dialogue between Kaji and Fuyutsuki, Kaji is warned by Fuyutsuki, that by freeing him is probably going to get him killed, by Kaji replies that "They", referring to SEELE, have found out that Kaji stole Adam (in Evangelion Episode 08) from them and gave it to Gendou. The passage is as follows:
Fuyutsuki: It's you.
Kaji: It's long since the last time.
Fuyutsuki: This action will result in your death.
Kaji: I just want to get closer to the truth... the truth within me. Besides, it seems they're catching on to the fact that I smuggled the Adam sample for Commander Ikari. If I don't start looking out for myself, things could be looking grim... for me.
It seems clear that SEELE wanted Kaji killed. As to who shot him, well Anno has said it wasn't a main character, that it was just a security officer. There is not "hidden truth" to Kaji's death, SEELE had him killed, not in an important way, they just sent a security agent to shoot him. Kaji faced death, as he had always faced life, with the indifferent coolness that won him so many fans. Ryoji Kaji rest in peace.
