Miscellaneous End of Evangelion humor

Random EoE-related stuff generated on Evangelion fora and wherever else. Give each entry a short heading and provide a brief description of the original context, along with the date and author. Only post your own material if you KNOW it is actually funny.

Theory: The Endings are contradictory, but they both happened

One of the most unusual, to say the least, theories we've every encountered as to the EoTV vs EoE concurrency debate was posted by Grant Oldman at ANF. This thread is old enough that it seems to have been purged, so no date. Grant believed that the endings were contradictory, i.e., Instrumentality succeeded in EoTV but failed in EoE, but that both endings happened anyway, and in the same continuity! How could this be possible, you ask? Easy! The endings were non-concurrent not only in the sense that they represented two different outcomes, but also in the sense that they didn't even happen at the same time! Grant believed that EoTV happened after EOE. Sometime after the end of EoE, Rei gave Shinji a "second do-over" and he called Instrumentality back on, and this is what we see in EoTV. (He didn't say how this could possibly work with the Harpies petrified, Lilith petrified and in pieces, and Eva-01 and the Spear of Longinus no longer on the planet.)