Shinji and Asuka's Relationship
Despite not joining the cast until Episode 08, Asuka quickly becomes a pivotal figure in the narrative, both in her own right and in her interactions with Shinji. The complex dynamics of their relationship quickly become the heart of the show. Most aspects of the relationship, however, remain unspoken or denied. Thus it is up to the viewer to piece together their motivations from the unspoken or implied aspects of their actions.
It is often only by looking at the wider details of a scene, such as background conversations or framing that their true feelings are revealed. In many cases the clues to unraveling a scene can only be found in conjunction with other scenes. Finally, it is often the case that important information is transmitted visually rather than through dialog, so examination of screenshots is necessary.
Are They a Couple?
The short answer is yes, but certainly not as traditionally portrayed in this sort of story. As stated above, there is no closure such as their accepting their feelings and acknowledging them to each other and possibly to others as well. Rather, it is the evidence presented in the show makes it clear that they are the show's primary couple.
Through the action arc and into the beginning of the downswing their interactions follow many conventions of romantic comedy. They have an eventful first meeting, complete with instant dislike and sexual misunderstandings. Circumstances force them into continued proximity, with sexual tensions and slowly building mutual acceptance. Friends see a relationship of which the character's themselves are blind, either teasing or offering advice.
For example, this from Episode 17:
| The classmates always know first | ||
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The pause in the second image before they deny their relationship typically shows that Toji's observation is correct. They are quarrelling like a married couple. | ||
Another example would be in Episode 09. Misato has momentarily substituted Rei for Asuka in the synchro-attack training and Rei aces it the first try. After Asuka runs from the room Hikari says to Shinji: "Go after her! You made a girl cry!". On the surface, it's hard to understand exactly how Shinji is responsible. If anyone made Asuka cry it was Misato. Then you realize that Hikari has already figured out that they are a couple, and feels that it is Shinji's responsibility to protect Asuka from this sort of humiliation.
Finally, they have their first kiss... at which point the trouble starts.
This is also supported in a more subconscious manner via clever use of cuts during important moments to force a parallel between the Shinji/Asuka relationship and that of Misato and Kaji. In episodes 9 and 15, for example, kiss attempts between Shinji and Asuka are immediately followed by scenes of Kaji and Misato engaged in the same. In episode 11 both pairs end up in compromising positions.
| Shinji/Asuka and Kaji/Misato | ||
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comparison shots from episodes 9, 11, and 15 | ||
The theory will also take into consideration some correlation between Asuka's feelings for Shinji and her feelings for Kaji.
Episode 08: Introductions
Marking the appearance of Asuka Soryu Langley, in Neon Genesis Evangelion, episode 8 is mostly used to introduce us to the personality of the German pilot. Set on the battleship carrying her Eva, Asuka meets Shinji, Toji and Kensuke who were brought by Misato to visit. Initially mistaking Toji as the third pilot, Asuka then proceeds to express disappointment at the thought of someone as unremarkable as Shinji having being chosen as one; a very underwhelming first impression. The episode also introduces Kaji Ryoji, Asuka's ex guardian and a man she is shown to have feelings for. It is during an exchange between the two that Asuka learns about Shinji's surprisingly high synchronization, renewing her interest in him and prompting her to show off her superiority as a pilot: with words, at first and eventually in the battle against Gaghiel.
In what is one of the most recognizable moments of the episode, Asuka forces Shinji to join her in her mech (while also forcing him to wear her plugsuit), to fight the angel, in order to further prove to him her skill. Despite the initial issues in reaching an acceptable level of synchronization, it is only thanks to their combined effort that they eventually succeed in winning. Asuka's arrogant, bossy and competitive personality introduced under these circumstances, will prove to be one of the biggest hurdles in their relationship, while, at the same time, their combined victory hints at the potential for them to reach harmony and stability. The duality of their relationship is, as such, introduced from the very first time they meet.
| Asuka is Not Impressed | ||
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Episode 09: Once Again They Must Work Together
The second episode dedicated nearly in its entirety to the duo. Starting off with Asuka moving to Shinji's school (and eventually his house), the episode focuses on the previously introduced theme of synchronization. We are given some insight on Asuka's school life, thanks to a series of pictures taken by Kensuke. It is at once apparent that she has gained respect for Shinji, greeting him with a cheery "Guten Morgen!", while stomping disdainfully on a locker full of love letters from her other male classmates.
The first fight of the episode, against the angel Israfel, turns out to be a quick loss. Asuka and Shinji are employed together, but she proceeds to charge the opponent on her own, forcing Shinji to cover her, with the sole purpose of proving to him and everyone else her superiority. Her rash decision leads them both to a defeat when the angel proves capable of duplicating itself. It is at this point, after the two of them receive an earful from Fuyutsuki, that Misato decides to make them train to reach better synchronization with each other. During a dance session, in front of Hikari, Toji, Kensuke and Rei, meant to make them move in synch, Asuka accuses Shinji of being too slow to keep up with her (though the observant viewer will notice that Shinji actually follows the instructions while Asuka makes some missteps), leading her to get angry at him. Misato comes in Shinji's defense asking Asuka to adapt to him, which she refuses to do, and then replacing her with Rei, in an attempt to poke Asuka's pride and make her compromise. The result is opposite, though, and Asuka leaves the house angered. Encouraged by his friends, Shinji follows Asuka outside and manages to get her to go back to training. In the scene in question, Asuka expresses to Shinji her determination to succeed as a pilot, while Shinji is shown to look up to her, expressing admiration for her confidence and strong personality. The rest of the training, which had them perform everything together, proceeds smoothly, with the two having seemingly succeded in finding coordination.
The evening before the fight, Asuka and Shinji are left alone at home by Misato. After hinting at them being alone for the night, Asuka, without giving Shinji the opportunity to respond, proceeds to take her futon away from the living room bringing it to Misato's room and shutting the door. She then compares said door to the "unbreakable Walls of Jericho", ordering Shinji not to enter. The scene in question is referenced by the mind-violation sequence in ep.22 (Asuka vs Arael), with the strong implication that Asuka was in need of Shinji's support and help due to feeling lonely and (potentially) anxious for the battle of the next day. Her inability to accept the idea of relying on others, which is at the foundation of Asuka's personality, was what pushed her to shut herself inside Misato's room instead of seeking Shinji's company. The reference to the "Walls of Jericho" (famously destroyed in the battle of Jericho), could be seen as a reference to Asuka needing someone to push though her barriers and truly understand her. During the night Asuka visits the bathroom while half-asleep and then subconsciously lies next to Shinji. Seeing her asleep, the boy, tries to kiss her, only to then be interrupted by Asuka crying and calling for her mother. The obvious purpose of the scene is to express Shinji's attraction for her and to hint at Asuka's loneliness. The battle of the next day proves to be a victory, they succeed in reaching harmony (temporarily). It's worth noting that, during a discussion between the two pilots, Asuka gets Shinji to admit he tried to kiss her, giving her a confirmation of his interest.
| Temptation | ||
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Asuka pretends to be fine, leaving Shinji alone in the living room. In truth she had been feeling lonely and in need of company. | ||
Episode 10: If at first you don't succeed...
Another relevant scene of the episode is Asuka's reaction when Misato lets her know that she won't be able to attend the school trip, as pilots have to be ready for emergencies. Asuka expresses her disappointment and tries to get Shinji to support her point of view but fails to do so, as Shinji seemed to have already accepted that scenario. This is an additional hint of Asuka's need for other people's support. Instead of going to the school trip Asuka, Shinji and Rei spend their time at the swimming pool. Asuka tries to make up for the inconvenience by looking for Shinji's attention, making fun of him for having issues at school (she has already completed university studies) and provoking him with her swimsuit, as she explains to him the basic concept of thermal expansion.
Shinji's reaction isn't particularly amusing for Asuka, as he doesn't quite know what to say and blushes, prompting Asuka to call him a "boring little boy". She then proceeds to call for his attention again as she dives in the swimming pool. In a way she seems to be having fun. It should be pointed out that Shinji is scared of water and Asuka is likely showing off to him her diving knowledge, to further prove her superiority to him (playfully). In the last part of the episode Asuka volunteers to fight the angel (Sandalphon) in a volcano, winning the confrontation but losing the safety cables that kept her from falling deeper in the lava. It is at that point that Shinji rescues her, gaining her gratitude and improving her opinion of the boy. It also proves to Asuka her importance to him, making his future failures (to help her) even more frustrating.
Episode 11: I'm in Charge!
Another episode that deals with the theme of cooperation. Asuka, Rei and Shinji find themselves having to deal with a blackout at the base, while having to reach their Eva in order to confront the angel attacking (Matarael). The situation is used to offer us additional insight on Asuka's bossy behavior and reckless attitude, which leads the three the wrong way, and on Asuka's dislike of Rei. Eventually, they reach the headquarters and manage, with a group effort, led (this time successfully) by Asuka, to defeat the angel. In the fight Asuka puts herself in danger, to protect Shinji, returning him the favor from the previous fight. The last scene in the episode sees the three lying on a hill, looking at the city with no lights on and expressing the way they feel. Shinji enjoys it, as it allows him to see the stars, Asuka finds it unpleasant.
Episode 12: Rivals and friends
In this episode the rivalry between Asuka and Shinji once again finds its way into the story. Shinji is shown to have further made improvements and, while still worse than Asuka, he is given all the praise. Asuka sarcastically expresses her envy and resentment for the praise Shinji receives, only to then head home on her own. As Misato is accompanying Shinji home, he expresses to her how he didn't enjoy being praised due to Asuka's angry reaction, showing concern for her. When they are all back, they throw a party for Misato's promotion. Kaji shows up with Ritsuko, which leads Asuka, who had been anticipating his arrival, to have a jealous reaction. This, along with Shinji's improvement as a pilot, act as elements of foreshadowing for painful and negative experiences Asuka will go through in later stages of the story.
The fight of the episode offers the three pilots another opportunity, once again successful, to cooperate. Shortly before being employed Shinji asks Asuka the reason why she pilots. When she learns he had asked Rei the same question, she seems to show a hint of possessiveness. She then proceeds to inquire about his reasons to fight only to then make fun of him for his answer. The last scene of episode has Misato and the three pilot eating together, in a Chinese noodle stand Asuka had picked for the occasion. It's worth noting that Asuka made that choice so that Rei, who doesn't eat meat, could join them and to let Misato save some money.
Episode 14:
Asuka once again expresses envy when Shinji is given more attention than her, as he is testing Rei'sEvangelion. In the last scene she is shown to say, thinking about Rei's identity:"Misato and Kaji-san won't tell me anything. Shinji knows nothing". Implication being she had asked around for information about the First.
Episode 15: Is it just a kiss?
A very important episode for Asuka, completely devoid of any angel fights. When Asuka gets back home in the evening she walks in on Shinji playing the cello, and she applauds him after he plays the piece to finish, admitting that she is impressed with his performance and the fact he plays an instrument. In his usual self-deprecating manner, Shinji attempts to downplay her praise, telling her that he does not think he has any musical talents and only can do it so well because he has played since he was five years old. Asuka, still impressed, points out that perseverance is still a form of power. As the two are waiting for Misato's return, Asuka asks Shinji to kiss. She assumes a provocative/cold attitude, bringing boredom as the excuse for it. Thanks to the mind-violation sequence (ep.22), we know that boredom was just a small part of it. In truth she was seeking some love and help from Shinji. It should be remembered that Asuka, at this point in time, is feeling especially rejected and ignored by Kaji and sees in Shinji someone who cares about her; a potential replacement for her ex-guardian. As expected, Shinji agrees to kiss her but, despite Asuka prolonging the exchange for as long as Shinji could breath, he fails to understand its real meaning and to provide her with the support she needs. Asuka, frustrated with his passivity and cluelessness, proceeds to run to the bathroom to hide her pain, noisily rinsing her mouth and letting him know how bad of an idea it was to kiss him.
This is certainly one of the scenes in which the duality of their relationship is most obvious. Asuka tries to deceive Shinji as to the reason why she kisses him and yet at the same time she hopes, deep down, that he is able to realize her deception and break through her barriers.
When Kaji arrives home with Misato, she quickly puts up a smile and tries to get him to spend some time with her. As she is close to him, she smells Misato's perfume on his jacket and realizes something happened between them. Immediately letting go of him, she freezes up and doesn't even say goodbye. Shinji, who was observing the scene, inquires as to Asuka's well being, only to have her blame their kiss as the cause of her pain.
| Misunderstood Intentions | |||
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Shinji believes Asuka's lie that her kiss was just to relieve boredom, but once again in Ep. 22 we find it meant a lot more. | |||
Episode 16: Asuka Surpassed
The opening scene of the episode introduces Asuka as being in a very volatile mood. Likely a consequence of her experiences in the previous episode. Starting off with Asuka attacking Shinji for being too quick to apologize, only to then express her jealousy and frustration at Misato, when she tries to defend the boy. The key moment in the episode, concerning Asuka and Shinji's relationship, is her loss to the boy in the synchronization test. Strongly foreshadowed in previous episodes, the impact of said development on their relationship is truly destructive. In a sense, by failing to understand and support Asuka before ep. 16, Shinji also failed to create strong enough foundations to their relationship to prevent it from crumbling under the pressure of the defeated Asuka's resentment. It is important to remember that Asuka's only way to prove herself her value is being the best pilot. Taking that away from her, forces her to confront herself with all her insecurities. Kaji and Shinji, for different reasons, couldn't offer her an alternative source of support; as such, the girl receives the full impact of the blow.
In two instances in the episode we see Asuka addressing Shinji sarcastically as Shinji-sama; first, in a burst of anger as she is in the locker room (with Rei) and then during the fight against Leliel. In that instance Asuka provokes Shinji to charge the angel on his own, causing him to get trapped and nearly costing him his life. It's interesting to note that Shinji attacks the angel with the express intention to prove himself to Asuka. After Shinji's safe return, she is shown to further express envy for the attention given to him, when Misato hugs him in tears, by saying to her: "Didn't you say you would scold him?".
In spite of that, the episode ends on a somewhat positive note, when Asuka is seen awkwardly lurking in the hallway of the hospital in an attempt to check on Shinji's well being without being noticed. Of course she gets caught, prompting Shinji to laugh for the first time in the series. The clear implication of the scene is that Asuka felt guilty for her over-reaction and that she still cares about the boy.
Episode 18: Cluelessness
Another episode that is relatively light on Asuka-Shinji. Asuka is shown to go out of her way to avoid Misato and Shinji, as she clearly has yet to accept having "lost" to them. It is hinted at that Shinji has yet to understand Asuka's jealousy for Kaji, as he is shown to ask Misato why Asuka is trying to avoid her. It is in fact his cluelessness that becomes the main theme of the episode. In an exchange between Hikari and Asuka, the second pilot refers to Shinji by saying: "Actually, he's the most dense of them all. And he's an idiot to boot. He doesn't know how to relate to people." She also expresses her annoyance at Shinji having yet to learn the identity of the fourth pilot (Toji). It is interesting to see how, after the kiss, Asuka seems to be even more frustrated by Shinji's density. Further reminding us of the main issue in their relationship; he just doesn't get it and he is too passive to make up for it.
Episode 19/20
Worthy of note is the fact that Shinji proves once again his superiority to Asuka by defeating Zeruel, who proved to strong for the second pilot. At the end of the fight Shinji remains stuck inside his Eva. Asuka is shown to suffer deeply after her loss to the boy, being more concerned by her failure than by Shinji's well being.
Episode 22: A subconscious need
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Arguably the most important episode of the series for Asuka's character as we are offered an even more intimate exploration of the struggles she is experiencing. The episode opens with a flashback, focused on Asuka and Kaji, before they get to Japan. In it, Asuka confesses her feelings to the man and receives a clear rejection; she is too young for him. She was willing to open up to him, only to be hurt in return. As it was hinted at, in ep.18, Asuka had been feeling rejected from the first moment we see her in the series. Connected to the flashback is the following scene, in which Asuka, at a station, is trying to call Kaji on the phone but fails to get through to him. As she looks up, she notices Rei and Shinji talking (the first time since Shinji's incident), prompting an annoyed reaction: "He spent an entire month dissolved inside Eva and he's already back to his old ways. After all, I lost... and to the likes of you."
Asuka's resentment is clear; she still feels defeated by Shinji, as Misato will also point out later in the episode, and she hates the fact that he was able to go back to his normality so easily. Yet, she may also be feeling a bit jealous of the attention Shinji is giving to Rei, even though Asuka is the one that distanced herself from him, to begin with. Once again the duality of their relationship comes into play to complicate things.
As Misato, Shinji and Asuka are sharing their first dinner together since the incident, Asuka is shown to still feel jealous of Kaji. When they receive a phone call at home, Asuka suspects it could be her ex-guardian wanting to talk to Misato. It proves to be her stepmother instead. After she is done talking on the phone, Shinji tries to learn more about her family. Asuka seems to be opening up to him, only to stop when she realizes what she is doing. The implication here is, once again, Asuka's need for someone to open up to and to confide in. Shinji could be that person, but Asuka can't seem to accept it.
Later, during her mindrape by the Angel Arael, Asuka is at last forced to face her true feelings. Not only is it revealed that she was devastated by his perceived rejection in Eps. 09 and 15 (see above), there is a replay of the post-kiss sequence in Ep. 15 where she is trying to get Kaji to stay the night. " You won't do anything! You won't help me! You won't even hold me! No one! No one! No one!" Interestingly, the line "You won't help me!" is interposed over a flashback of Shinji rescuing her from the volcano in Ep. 10; that isn't the kind of help she wants.
The key moment of the episode is Asuka's mind-violation sequence (during the fight against Arael), as it allows us to take a peek into her subconscious. Asuka's loneliness and need for help and love, is the main focus of the scene. Instead of smelling Misato's perfume and realizing that Kaji is lost to her, she sees that Shinji is there as well. Realizing that this means that Shinji has replaced Kaji in her affections, she snarls: "Why are you there?! You won't do anything! You never help me! You won't even hold me!". As she states that, we are shown flashes of instances, throughout the series, in which Asuka had been in need of Shinji's support: the "walls of Jericho" and the kiss, being the most relevant. She had been needing Shinji throughout the series, yet, due to his passivity and cluelessness, she never felt understood and supported by him.
It is important to note that, in the second part of the mind-violation, Asuka denies feeling lonely and reaffirms her independant attitude. The mind-violation doesn't help Asuka better accept herself or Shinji, it simply serves the purpose of allowing the viewer to better understand her.
The last scene of the episode has Shinji try to comfort Asuka, only to be pushed away by her. She is not yet willing to accept his help, not while blinded by her anger.
Episode 22 Flash-Sign Montages
See this page: User:Ran1 for a complete interpretation of this following piece.
Asuka, during the Episode 22 mindrape, is forced to come to terms with the nature of her relationship with others and society, trying to reject others but eventually having to come to terms with her inability to remain alone.
End of Evangelion
Episode 25
The first part of the movie opens with Shinji seeking comfort and attention from a hospitalized Asuka, as she is asleep (likely drug-induced) and unable to respond.
Increasingly desperate, Shinji shakes the girl's body, attempting to wake her up, until he inadvertently rips her shirt open and exposes her breasts. It is at this point that all the pent-up frustration and attraction, that the boy felt for Asuka, push him to masturbate right next to her. A rash and violent decision which ends up being the cause of Shinji's temporary breakdown.
It should be noted that, at this point of the story, Shinji perceives Asuka to be the only person whose love could help him recover and feel better, as he admits to her that he is scared of Rei and Misato.
During the later stages of the episode, in her fight against the MPEs, Asuka, who found in her mother's soul the support she needed to recover, makes a comment about Shinji's absence: "Jeez! Don't they ever stop!? And I can't even count on that idiot Shinji!!". Despite the annoyed tone, the remark can be seen as her admission of needing the boy's support in the fight. Likely implying her acceptance and wish to make peace with him and to forget, at least temporarily, about their past issues. Unluckily, her loss is inevitable, as Shinji fails to arrive in time. Similarly to how he failed to support Asuka emotionally in the series, Shinji also fails to help her during the MPE fight, causing her to get physically hurt.
Episode 26
An episode rich in Asuka-Shinji content, it also proves to be one of the most difficult to interpret. Taking place, nearly in its entirety, during Instrumentality, it allows Asuka and Shinji to confront each other in a way they never could in the series. Often times it is impossible to determine with certainty if the characters are themselves or just a projection, a limited representation of who they really are. Regardless of this, the four main exchanges between Asuka and Shinji are worthy of individual analysis.
First exchange
The first is as brief as it is important to understand Asuka's instinctive and superficial dislike of Shinji throughout the series.
Asuka:"The sight of you makes me so irritated!"
Shinji:"It's because we are similar."
The exchange in question relates to the psychological concept of shadow (one of the terms to appear during Asuka's mind-violation in ep.22). To express it in "technical" terms, the shadow is an "unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself. Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality". Essentially, in Asuka's case, she rejects the part of herself she deems unacceptable in an attempt to maintain a positive image of herself as an independant and mature person. Shinji embodies Asuka's shadow. He represents all that Asuka fears to accept about herself: an insecure person always in need of other people's acceptance and love. As such, clashing with him on a regular basis causes Asuka to shift onto Shinji part of the hatred she feels for herself. To put it in simpler terms: she hates Shinji because she hates herself. The moment she will succeed to accept herself for how she is, she will also finally manage to truly love and accept Shinji. It should be pointed out that, here, Shinji seems to fully understand Asuka, but the awareness he shows is gone in the following interactions.
Visually the exchange also says a lot; Asuka's face is livid with anger and disgust with Shinji, yet they are naked in a bed together and she is on top of Shinji and has him effectively pinned down. He is not able get away from her because she refuses to let him go, even in spite of the negative emotions he awakens in her. Also notable is the fact that though the two of them are shown to be together, neither of their faces are are shown in the same shot. In cinematography, such a shot reverse shot technique is often used to imply a disconnect between two characters.
Second Exchange
Their second exchange tackles Shinji's inability to help and understand Asuka. It re-enacts the lead up to their kiss (from ep.15), with the kiss itself being replaced by Asuka's accusations.
Asuka: "It's not like you understand me at all. Don't come near me."
Asuka: "You think you understand me? You think you can help me? Now that's really arrogant!You couldn't possibly understand me."
It essentially translates Asuka's frustration after the kiss into words, expressing the way she feels about Shinji's density. It's interesting to note that Asuka, while angry at Shinji, is not hiding her need to be understood and helped, as opposed to what she did in the real life version of the scene. A hopeless Shinji then proceeds to express his exasperation at the girl.
Shinji: "There's no way I could understand you. Because you don't say anything, Asuka. You never say anything, and you expect me to understand you, when you don't even talk at all? That's impossible!".
This is certainly the most fitting back and forth to express the main issue in their relationship: communication.
Third exchange
The third exchange relates purely to the physical/sexual attraction that exists between the two, not to be mistaken with romantic love. It isn't clear whether Asuka is herself or just a projection created by Shinji's mind. For the purpose of this analysis she will be considered the real Asuka, but without the inhibitions that would prevent her from openly expressing herself in a real-life scenario.
Asuka :"Idiot! I know that I'm your jerk-off fantasy. Go ahead and do it as usual, I'll be here and watch. If you cannot be mine and mine only, I don't even want you."
Asuka is shown to express awareness of Shinji's attraction for her, something she had known since the end of ep.9, but likely received further confirmation of, during Instrumentality. An interest which seems, to an extent, reciprocated. That is where the lack of inhibitions comes into play; all the issues Asuka has with Shinji's personality don't seem to affect her interest in him here, as they did throughout the series. The only condition she sets is for him to be hers only, representing Asuka's possessive and jealous nature.
Fourth exchange
The last and longest exchange is, in a sense, opposite to the first one. Here it is Asuka to fully comprehend Shinji's nature. In the series she had shown to understand him, but never to such an extent. Taking place in a fake version of their living room (similar to ep.24), Shinji approaches Asuka in an attempt to help her only to be met by her rejection.
Asuka:"...Stay away from me, because all you do is hurt me."
Once again, she doesn't deny her need for help, but, unlike in their second exchange, she proceeds to turn Shinji's words against him, exposing his real intentions. In truth, Shinji's attempts to help Asuka are simply a selfish way to gain her love and acceptance.
Asuka:"You're scared of both Misato and First, and your mother and father..."
She then proceeds to accuse him of not loving anyone, not even himself. The accusation in question should not be interpreted as inability to feel but as inability to translate the feelings to meaningful acts of love. The scene ends with Shinji begging for someone to love him and not leave him alone, only to be met with Asuka's final rejection, prompting him to strangle her.
One More Final
The final sequence of the movie. Taking place at the end of Instrumentality, it shows Asuka and Shinji lying on a beach, in front of Rei's remains. It can be assumed that Asuka made the conscious decision to live as an individual, similarly to Shinji. As Shinji notices the girl, he moves towards her and begins to strangle her, without a clear reason. The generally accepted interpretation is that he was trying to determine whether she was real or if they were still experiencing Instrumentality. Asuka's reaction comes as a suprise; she caresses him, an act of acceptance meant to symbolize Asuka's growth. In the same way her hatred for Shinji could be seen as misdirected hatred for herself, so is her kindness towards him indicative of self-acceptance. She can finally accept him for who he is, because she can accept herself. Taken aback by her caress, Shinji begins to cry.
For more information, less accepted alternatives and objections, see http://forum.evageeks.org/viewtopic.php?t=3758
References
