FGC:Episode 20 Scene 05

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Screenshots	Cut #	Description/Dialogue	Commentary
	085A
	085B
	086	REI:“Why do you hate your father?”
	087	SHINJI:“Of course! Anyone would.”
	088	REI:“You can't understand your father?”
	089	SHINJI:“Of course not. I've hardly ever seen him.”
	090	REI:“Is that why you hate him?”
	091	SHINJI (OFF):“Yes, my father doesn't need me!”
	092	SHINJI (OFF):“My father deserted me!”
	093	REI (OFF):“And am I the substitute?”
	094	SHINJI:“That's right!”
	095	SHINJI (OFF):“That's got to be it!”
	096
	097	SHINJI:“He abandoned me because he had you!”	UrsusArctos: After the bafflement that he felt fifteen episodes ago he has an appropriate explanation. Of course, he's not the first person to think they're being replaced by Rei, but this idea doesn't take hold in his mind in quite the same way as it already is with Ritsuko. It does make me wonder if Ritsuko would have acted differently in Episode 23 if she knew this particular thought had crossed Shinji's mind.
	098	REI:“As if you didn't run away all by yourself.”	UrsusArctos: This is a neat change from the train station background to something more appropriately introspective. Shinji replaces Gendo, and Rei 1 replaces Shinji. The dress colors aren't quite the same as those we see in the next episode, but the expression and line delivery pretty much sell which Rei is talking to him. In addition to seeing Rei 1 in the next episode, we find out why Shinji ran away in the first place, although we're thankfully spared the details.
	099A	SHINJI (OFF):“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” TEXT:“Rei Ayanami Gendo Ikari Yui Ikari Father Mother Child Stranger Self The Ego Hypocrisy Needs Repression The Weak Identification Self Internalization Breasts Inferiority Complex Will Symbiosis Solitude Compensation Reality Ideal Inculcation Mind and Body Fear Insecurity Value Dependence Escape Estrangement Loss Oral Stage Obsession Inculcation”
	099B	SHINJI (OFF):“It's all his fault!!”
	099C	SHINJI (OFF):“That time,” TEXT:“Shinji Ikari” TEXT:“Come. Gendo Ikari”
	099D	SHINJI (OFF):“I was actually”
	099E	SHINJI (OFF):“going to tell him I hate him!” TEXT:“Welcome to Nerv”	UrsusArctos: Had Shinji met Gendo in a more mundane manner, would he have been able to tell him how much he hated him to his face? I doubt it. Shinji does seem to have the drive to start something once prodded into it, but he's no good at finishing what he's started out to do (not until the end of EoE, when he chooses to end the biggest mess a human could possibly have started)
	099F
	099G	SHINJI:“Are you telling me to get on that thing and put myself in danger, Father?”
	100	IKARI:“Correct.”
	101	SHINJI:“What's with that?! I don't want to! Why are you saying this now?!”
	102	SHINJI:“I thought you didn't need me, Father!”
	103	IKARI:“I merely called you because I needed you.” SHINJI:“Why me?” IKARI:“Because it's impossible for anyone else.”
	104	SHINJI:“But that's impossible. I've never even seen or heard of it. There's no way I could do it!” SHINJI:“No, I knew.”
	105
	106	SHINJI:“That's right!”
	107	SHINJI:“I knew the Eva.”
	108		UrsusArctos: This is all stuff we'll see in full in Episode 21. This traumatic event - the loss of Yui in the Contact Experiment - appears to have been burned into little Shinji's memory and was poking at his subconscious all this time. Evangelion 3.0 explains away Shinji's non-memory of the Eva or Yui's disappearance using stuff like memory modification. Even with the significant changes in settei, 3.0's take on it seems rather more hokey than the simple forgetting that we get in Episodes 20 and 21.
	109	SHINJI:“And that time,”
	110	SHINJI:“I ran away!”
	111	SHINJI:“Away from Mother and Father!”	UrsusArctos: He didn't run away from the monster that swallowed his mother and into the hands of his father (which you'd expect for a little kid), he ran away from both his parents. The next episode never shows us what happens immediately after Yui is absorbed by the Contact Experiment, so we never see what about the whole situation scared little Shinji enough to run away from both of them.
	Eyecatch

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